*WARNING - ADULT MATERIAL - may cause offence.
Not suitable for children/minors 

 
blacky and his orange pecker
blacky boy goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, you've got to help me. My pecker's gone orange." The sceptical doctor pauses to think and asks blacky to drop his pants so he can check. Sure enough blacky's pecker is orange.

Doc tells blacky boy, "This is very strange. Sometimes things like this are caused by a lot of stress in a person's life."

Probing as to the causes of possible stress, the doctor asks blacky, "How are things going at work?"

blacky responds that he was fired about six weeks ago and the doctor tells him that this must be the cause of the stress.

blacky responds, "No. The boss was a real asshole, I had to work 20-30 hours of overtime every week and I had no say in anything that was happening. I found a new job a couple of weeks ago where I can set my own hours, collecting old newspapers bottles and bits of string in a 3 wheel cart. The moneys not great but I'm happy. " So the doc figures this isn't the reason.

He asks blacky, "How's your home life?"

blacky says," Well, I got divorced about eight months ago."

The doc figures that this has got to be the reason for all of blacky's stress.

blacky says, "No. For years, all I listened to was nag, nag, nag. God, am I glad to be rid of that old bitch."

So the doc takes a few minutes to think a little longer. He inquires," Do you have any hobbies or a social life?"

blacky boy replies, "No, not really. Most nights I sit at home, watch porno films and eat Cheetos.............."


blacky the POW
There were these three prisoners in a German POW camp (POW 1, POW 2 and blacky boy). The commandant was a real mean bastard and he was going to shoot his three captives unless their combined pecker length was in excess of 20 inches.

So the three POWs have their peckers measured and it turned out their combined pecker length was 20 inches exactly, so they were spared.

Later on the three were talking, and POW 1 said "Well if it wasn't for my 8 inch pecker we'd all be dead."

POW 2 says "Nahh, if it wasn't for my 10 inch pecker then we'd all be dead."

Then blacky boy says "If I didn't have a hard on, we'd all be dead....."


blacky boy the redneck
It was the night of prom, and Sally didn't have a date. Her brother blacky boy felt sorry and decided to help. He offered to take her. She was reluctant, but finally gave in.

At the dance, they just sat there. Her brother blacky offered to dance. Again she said no, but after some persuasion, she gave in. After the dance her brother blacky boy took her to Makeout Mountain. Again she was quite reluctant, but after a while they started to make out. It got hot and heavy, and they ended up having sex.

Afterwards, she turned to her brother blacky and said "Man, you're better than dad!" To which blacky boy replied, "Yeah, that's what mom says, too!"


blacky boy the sex tourist
blacky boy goes on a sex tourist trip to Africa. Shortly after arriving, he buys a herd of goats and over a 2 week period humps every one of them. A week after arriving back home in New Jersey, he awakes one morning to find his little pecker covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see his doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells blacky to return in two days, for the results.

blacky returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, "I've got bad news for you. You've contracted African Umbala VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it".
blacky looks a little relieved and says "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up", doc.

The doctor answers "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis".

blacky screams in horror, "Oh no! I want a second opinion!".

The doctor replies, "Well it's your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only choice".

The next day, blacky seeks out an African doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The African doctor examines blacky's little pecker, and proclaims "Ah yes, African Umbala VD". Terrible disease.

blacky says to the doctor, "Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can you do? My regular doctor wants to operate and amputate my pecker!"

The African doctor shakes his head and laughs, "Stupid doctor! Stupid doctor, always want to operate. Make more money, that way. No need to operate!

"Oh thank God!" blacky replies.

"Yes" says the African doctor, "You no worry! Wait two weeks. Pecker fall off by self!"


The ballad of blacky and his goat
His rubber doll
it went away
so for six whole months
he couldn't play

---And then blacky found a goat---

YEEEEEEEEESS he said
after all those prayers
then quickly running
up the stairs

into the bedroom
went the goat and bad blacky
straight for the bed
no time for a shower

as blacky ripped off his clothes
and took out his pecker
the goat just lay there
not knowing any better

blacky cried
what joy what luck
now at last
I can have a ****


The ballad of blacky and his bionic tool
(Adapted by Takin from 'Freddie Bloor', original author unknown)
This is the tale of young blacky boy,
whose sexual equipment got jammed in a door.
The firemen arrived on the scene, double quick
But alas were too late to save poor blacky's dick.

By the time they freed him he didn't feel well
for his private parts were mangled to hell.
They rushed him to hospital, the ambulance flew
but when they arrived there was nowt they could do.

What a sad blow for blacky, condemned without choice,
to a life with no sex and a high squeaky voice,
But lucky for blacky, so he wouldn't feel a fool
some bright spark suggested a bionic tool.

A bright new electric one made out of brass,
though the batteries would have to be kept up his ass.
So newly equipped and after a rest,
blacky thought he would put his new tool to the test.

Finding a goat, the nearest one handy,
he gave 'her' a kiss 'cos he felt really randy.
Not knowing the shock they both had in store,
he took the goat up on to the second floor.

He stripped off quick and entered 'her' fast,
with his bionic chopper he gave 'her' full blast.

blacky clutched the goat tight as his dick shook some more,
then they shook off the bed and rolled onto the floor.
Now the part hotted up and they started to choke
as the air in the room became filled with blue smoke.

With a bang blacky's left bollock shot up in the air
and his other went plonkety plonk down the stair.
So back for repair went poor blacky, full of woe,
was this how his sex life was destined to go?

A return to the doctor at the end of each shag
with his pecker in his pocket and his balls in a bag.
But they fixed young blacky up, made him manly again,
and they helped out the batteries with a flex for the main,

So if the batteries run out, it's still quite alright,
Cos he's now got a mains lead and can go it all night.

The final word, which says it all...
by I. Rootuk
blacky was not actually born. His 12 year old crack mamma went to the hospital expecting to give birth. Complaining to the doctors of intense abdominal pain, x-rays were taken, the results of which revealed severe abnormalities in the fetus. It was agreed that she would undergo an abortion. The doctors performed what is called a "partial birth abortion". However, simultaneously, she took a huge dump on the table. It was a terrible mess. Just terrible. The doctors and nurses decided to just put the entire tissue mass and shit into a receiving blanket, hand it to the mom and get her sorry ass out of there as fast as they could.

As blacky matured, the feces became dominant and the fetal mass eventually withered to a less distinguishable form. Can you imagine how blacky feels, living in a Joisey ghetto as a pile of shit with an umbilical cord for a dick ?